Pretentious Poetry

I am fucking sick of pretentious poetry.  Long strings of rare adjectives and vague metaphors do not impress me.  For the writers of these pretentious poems, I have attached the following humble and delightful piece by Billy Collins.

INTRODUCTION TO POETRY

I ask them to take a poem

and hold it up to the light

like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem

and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room

and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski

across the surface of a poem

waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do

is tie the poem to a chair with rope

and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose

to find out what it really means.